my horoscope, according to the onion:



Scorpio: (Oct. 24—Nov. 21)

It's not true that your best days are behind you. It's true that almost all of your days are behind you, but the best ones are yet to come.



i'm going to the buzz tomorrow. and i'm gonna smoke some cigarettes and work on some lyrics. i wanna die alone and unloved. so far i'm on the right track.